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As I generally do, I attended church yesterday in the city where I'm working. The place was Solid Rock Family Church, in Jefferson City, MO. In some ways, it was exactly what I was looking for, even though it might be a little different from what I expected.

First of all, I drove over there on Friday, looking for a sign with their meeting times. The information was not posted anywhere I could see. That made me think that either they had all the members they needed or they were so well-known in their community that everyone already knows when they meet. Then I saw their URL posted and thought that maybe they were only seeking those who are net-connected.

In the past few months, since I've been in Missouri, every church I've tried has been mono-color. The congregations have each been of one ethnic background. Since I don't expect heaven to be segregated (take a look at Galatians and you'll see), that is one of the things I look for in a church.

SRFC, however, was not an all-White church, nor an all-Black church. On that basis alone, I would return to the church, even if there were not any other reasons.

But SRFC is more than just an ethnic melting pot. I could not tell whether their influences are Baptist or Assemblies of God, although there was certainly some Southern influence in the preaching style.

The music was all unfamiliar to me. When you make it to churches around the country, you expect to find a few new songs and a lot of familiar ones in any service. This is neither good nor bad.

The sermon was based on Exodus 30:12 and 1 Peter 1:18-19. Being Memorial Day weekend, we were instructed to memorialize the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf, to celebrate and rejoice because Jesus gave himself as a ransom for our souls.

All in all, a good experience.

Tags: Christianity, church, srfc

A woman on the Christian radio station said something today that really turned on the light. When we forgive, it is not because someone deserves forgiveness. If the person no longer deserves our anger, then getting rid of that anger is not forgiveness, but justice. The whole point of forgiveness is that the guilty party does not deserve to be forgiven.

Once we see this, we are free to exercise grace--unmerited, undeserved favor--and indeed, are called to exercise the same kind of grace that we ourselves received from God.

Jesus talked about the obligation to show grace once we have received grace in the story of the king and his two servants (Matt. 18:23-32). But I think we missed some of the depth of the meaning there. We talk about how it is wrong to hold grudges when God has forgiven us of so much, and that is certainly the message, but it goes deeper.

We want to be angry and stay that way until the person has been punished enough for whatever they did. The fact is, we cannot. What makes forgiveness work is the fact that we do not wait until the person deserves to be released from our anger. Why? Because it is a gift--grace, that is, good things you do not deserve, is God's gift to us--and we must pass it on to those we come into contact with.

"... God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners...." (Romans 5:7-9, NLT) This is exactly what we are expected to do, as those who have received mercy from the king.

Don't wait until you feel like forgiving. Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is a choice you make, and a set of actions you take in support of that choice. Do not destroy your own life and waste the shot at forgiveness that you have by your stubborn insistence on waiting for your feelings to change. Medical personnel can tell you about the things that holding onto anger will do to your body. People that watch the news can tell you what it does to your mind and what you'll end up doing to your family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers. Seriously, do you think you have the right to hold on to that anger after the price Jesus paid on account of your sinfulness? Give it up!

If you are in the Apple Valley, California area, I invite you to check out Lion of Judah Worship Center, a new congregation forming in town.

IceRocket: Bible, forgiveness

Bible, forgiveness

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As usual, I attended church in the town where I am currently working. Mount Calvary Baptist Church had about fifty people in attendance. This was quite a different experience--I have not been in a church where only hymns were sung (not counting a child's special song, "Old Time Religion"). Very traditional.

The congregation seems to be mono-ethnic, which is an issue here in Missouri. They were friendly and welcoming, which is important when you are a visitor whose ethnic background is not represented in the congregation. I have mentioned it several times before, but I want to emphasize that being the only person of your ancestry in a congregation where everyone shares a heritage can be uncomfortable.

Motherhood

Today is Mothers Day in the United States. As is common in many other churches, there were roses presented to the oldest mother, the youngest mother, the mother with the most children, and the mother with the youngest child. They also included the mother whose child traveled the farthest to be with her on Mothers Day.

The mothers in the congregation varied from somewhere around thirty to somewhere past eighty. They seemed to be fairly close-knit and familiar with one another.

Someone once wrote something to the effect that Jesus did not come to create middle American Prostestantism. I agree with that--but that does not invalidate what the members of this congregation have. I believe that as believers we need to learn from one another, to extend our hands to one another, to help one another grow up into the full measure of Christ. This will never happen as long as we insist on blocking out any believers who differ from us in any of the non-essentials.

For this reason, I would return to Mt. Calvary Missionary Baptist Church, just as I would return to the Assembly of God church in town. I believe they have something that I could benefit by learning and that I have something that they could benefit by learning.

I have a few small disagreements:

• Salvation by the magic words: after many years as a believer, I no longer believe that "pray these words and you'll be saved" is true. It would be one thing if those words were someone's own heartfelt expression. But when the person's motivation is not "I want to be changed and begin building a relationship with my creator" but instead "I want to evade punishment", someone has to coach them on what to say.
• Pre-tribulation rapture: My personal feeling is that Christ will rescue his church after the worldwide time of trouble we call the tribulation period. I am not dogmatic about it, because I could easily be wrong. For this reason, I feel that making a doctrine out of a pre-trib rapture is dangerous and counter-productive. If we are ready, we'll go whenever it comes. But if it comes later than we've been taught to expect, we could easily lose faith during an especially rough period.

I have to say that Paster Tarter emphatically did not endorse "cheap grace". He did, however endorse the "assisted prayer" and the idea that one could become "saved" without becoming a "disciplined one" (disciple) of Christ. Let me make it clear: I cannot see anything in scripture that says Jesus can be my savior without being my lord. Lord in this case means "supreme ruler and master of my life". It does not mean that I can only be saved once I reach perfect obedience, but if I'm not even making an effort to be obedient, why should I expect the clerk at the front desk to grant me entrance?

I am sure that many who thought they were saved will be turned away. "We're sorry. You don't qualify. The place down the way will take you." As Jesus said in Matthew 7:21, "Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord! Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter."

Again, Pastor John did not encourage people to reserve the right to run their own lives, although his sermon endorsed the possibility of it happening.

If you make it to Sikeston, MO, check out this church and the A/G church. They may not know it, but they need you and you need them.

If you are in the Victor Valley area of California, I invite you to come to Lion of Judah Worship Center in Apple Valley.

I was driving from the office to the hotel after work one day. On the radio, a preacher with a Southern accent was talking about how a wife's duty is to submit to her husband. Yes, that is there, but it goes along with passages that tell the husband to love his wife the same way that Christ loves the church.

How many preachers have you heard telling husbands to give up everything they have, everything they want, everything they are, in order to properly meet the needs of the wife? None? That's what I thought.

The fact is, women in that time and place, had little recourse if the man was selfish, non-affectionate, non-communicative, sneaky, or abusive. There wasn't much chance that the wife would say "I have had enough of you--I'm out the door".

This situation meant that a wife went into the relationship with a much greater commitment--and lower expectations--than we see today. If Paul instructed women to submit to their husbands, it was mostly a matter of degree, since they were all submissive when compared to our current society. On the other hand, instructing a woman who has other options available that she must submit and obey her man is asking for a complete U-turn.

The other thing about this idea is that submission is  not a one-way street. You do not improve a relationship by being the only one who gives in. Instead, the other party tends to become even more selfish and demanding. It is similarly not a 50:50 thing. If either party is not willing to give almost anything to help the relationship succeed, it won't.

In general, I favor looking at these kinds of dictates as still applicable to today's believers. But we have to look at the context before we can understand what is happening or what it means. If we understand that today's women have choices, and we understand that relationships require both parties to give, it does not take much to conclude that a blanket statement: "women, submit to your husbands" is so broad as to be dangerous. Take it in context and you'll see that scripture in no way promotes complete subservience for women.

Tags: Bibletime!

As is my practice, I went to church today. This time, I attended Woodcrest Chapel in Jefferson City, Missouri.

The church meets in a mall that seems a little down on its luck. The church has a set of three projection TVs and a good quality lighting rack. The music was live, led by an on-site musician. Today's message was an interview, televised from the mothership in Columbia, MO. It was interesting, but it reminded me of watching the PTL Club of times past.

The Jefferson City congregation was small, although it is apparent from the amount budgeted for that facility that they have big plans.

The TV service is something I have heard about but never seen before. I am told that High Desert Church in Victorville California also does this. Coincidentally, both churches have started ministries in Malawi, one of the world's poorest countries. I am not sure about TV services--it seems like something is missing, but that could be the format chosen for today's service--although I commend these churches for trying to break out of the traditional rituals.

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Don't Cripple Maturation Process

Part of growing up is being responsible. This means that we have to learn to take responsibility for ourselves and those whom we must care for (i.e., children, the elderly, the infirm, and household animals). There are multiple parts to "taking responsibility". First of all, one learn to corral his or her words and actions. He cannot allow himself to do whatever might come into his mind, but instead he limits himself to those things that are acceptable.

Control Your Words And Actions

A few years ago, President Bush spoke at some college graduations, and some people turned their backs on him. I understand disagreeing with the man, his politics, and his policies. I certainly disagreed with much of what he did. But that kind of immaturity is not acceptable for those of us older than junior high / middle school age.

Control Your Finances

A second area is financial responsibility. There are several components to this, but one of them is recognizing that everything you get, use, or benefit from is because of someone's labor. The time will come when others whose labor you have been benefiting from will no longer allow you to benefit from their labor. Maturity is learning to pay your own way.

What does this mean? If you are, say, 24 or older, either buy your own ride or take public transit. Do not depend on someone else to get you to work on time. It is not their responsibility, it is yours. If you have a credit card, do not charge anything you cannot pay off in a month--I understand emergencies happen, but if you have to charge something bigger, cut back somewhere else so you can pay the balance down to zero within a few months--and do not charge your purchases at the Golden Arches. If you charge a meal at a restaurant, immediately send a payment for the full amount. Avoid debt whenever you can, and when you cannot avoid it, work hard to get out of it promptly.

If You Want It, You Make It Happen

A third area of maturity is accepting the responsibility for the outcomes in your life. If you are not the CEO of a major corporation by age thirty, it is not because your older brother Eduardo did not back your efforts. It could be because you have not yet "paid your dues" to make it there. It could be that you lack the skillset needed to get there. It could be because you are selfish and abrasive, causing no one to desire to work with you or under you. It could be because you never worked in that company or its industry. If there is something that you really want, you are the one who has to determine what is required to get there, and then do what is required to make it happen.

Are Your Actions Hindering Others?

As parents, and as members of churches, however, we frequently forget this. How often have we heard of parents confronting high school teachers and college instructors because little Johnny got a 'D'? I have two questions for you: did little Johnny do all the work to the required standards for the grade you feel he should have, and did he turn it in on time? If the answer to either question is 'no', shut your trap and go home. How often have we seen someone at church who is having problems and we short-circuited their maturation process by helping the person during a rough period that was caused by that person's own actions?

It is a vitally important part of that person's maturation process that she be allowed to learn that her actions have consequences. This means that you cannot run to the rescue when your daughter is caught with pot. You have to let the justice system play out its punishment or she will never learn and never mature. If you son strikes his girlfriend, you have to let the legal system punish him, in the hope that he'll decide that he dislikes it enough that he never wants to experience it again.

If you intervene, if you play the part of the Cavalry riding to the rescue, you will make it harder for this person to grow up and take responsibility for his or her words, actions, or finances. This is not to say that we should not ever intervene, but that we need to consider intervention in the context of that person's maturation process.

IceRocket: growing up

Tags: growingup

I've been in Missouri the past few weeks. I have not had any kind of experience that could remotely be called racism--I want to make that clear. I am not calling the people of either congregation racist--but both churches I have attended have been populated by people of one ethnic group and no others. The people are tremendously friendly, and as I said, they do not appear racist.

I work my twelve hours and head back to the hotel each day, so I haven't seen a lot of people. It could just be who lives in the area.

The experience is making me wonder if this apparent segregation is one of the things that is contributing to the loss of members and influence for churches in America. Heaven, from what I read in the Bible, is not going to be segregated. Let us work to make our local congregations reflect the composition of the community, so we reflect the colorblind nature of God's love.

How will people around us know that Christ can change their lives and make it worthwhile to have eternal life if they cannot even see him changing who we associate with?

IceRocket: Christianity, race relations

Christianity, race relations

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This is the beginning of a series of videos that Mandisa has made on her pursuit of victory over her food addiction and obesity. She started with a goal of losing 100 pounds by a certain date. She hired a personal trainer to help her exercise and change her eating.

Like most of us, she is facing a difficult personal issue. At this point, she is facing it head-on. If she continues her "lifestyle change", she will eventually regain control over her weight. It remains to be seen whether food continues to control her. Let us pray that she gains victory over the weight and the food-focused living, so she is free to live as Christ desires--without chains.

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This was one of the great artists of the 1980s.

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